"It's So Lonely When You Don't Even Know Yourself."

Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing,
Only a signal shown, and a distant voice in the darkness;
So on the ocean of life, we pass and speak one another,
Only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence.

-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

Nothing can describe the loneliness of the night. The day may bring faint shadows of memories, but nothing pours hot oil on the soul like the dusk and evening. Every breath is a struggle, every minute is agony when faced with the memories of loss and imperfection.

Nothing can compare to the realization of aloneness. When the world has finally decided to pass you by, content with the juice of life that they have squeezed from their time with you; when those you have called friends cease to recognize your importance on his hallowed ground we call earth; when your very own life caves in upon itself, revealing failure after failure until you're left with absolutely nothing.

Nothing can shape a soul like loneliness. No matter how long it lasts, life becomes broken when those who suffer from this melancholy disease feel alone.

To those who have left me behind:

I will never forgive you.

To those who have found my life too trivial for their own:

I will never forget you.

To those who see through me:

You should be ashamed of yourself. I'm right here. I've been here this whole time.

To those who have judged me:

You hold the right of one who is judged by God, not others.

To those who pretend they love me:

Don't bother. It's so transparent, I could use it as my sliding glass window.

To those who have stuck by me:

You will never know how close I was.

You alone have saved me.

To my ultimate Savior, Jesus Christ:

You paid my price.

You set me free.

You've understood

My agony.

Most Holy One,

Accept my cry.

Thank you for

this gift of life.