Sunday, February 28, 2010

Double Standards: the same amount of ugly for both people.

Something that's been on my mind for a very long time is the topic of double standards. I have a few questions in my mind about them. The first is who decides what the standard is? The second is why does EVERYBODY do it? in my mind, you see, i have my own set of standards. Not just for my life, but for others. What really gets to me, however, is when i use a DIFFERENT set of standards for others that i do for myself. For example, if i hold myself to a standard that allows for me to curse and use bad language, why do i cringe when others around me do the same thing? not that i'm saying i like to curse all the time, but honestly. Everyone does that in their lives, and it can be such a huge problem. This is a different topic, too, from judging. Judging equalizes, in my opinion because the standard remains the same. You may think you are better than other people, however you view all the people you judge as just "people you judge." However, with a double standard, everyone's opinion of other's switches according to what they think of those people. If my best friend is very materialistic (not saying he or she is), who am i to tell her that there is nothing wrong with the way she acts, and then going to someone who i see as less of a good friend and viewing them in my mind as someone who is extremely materialistic, therefore thinking less of her. It is a vicious cycle, one that MUST be broken in order for people to better understand each other. No wonder cliques are made so easily when we judge according to who our friends are. Sometimes its not even that. Sometimes it's people who we WANT to be our friends. They are the alpha dogs of society, and why should we think they do wrong? Who are we to judge them, right? In essence, yes. We shouldnt be judging in general. But if you are going to tell your acquaintance their purse is ugly, make sure you tell ur best friend. Because the purse is probably the same amount of ugly for both people.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

legends of a ninja. or, my brain at 1 am.

Trinity Cuff February 24 at 1:04am
once upon a timethere was a ninja. this ninjas name was KEEYA. now keeya had a serious problem. everytime he would attempt a karate chop, his pants would fall down. for some reason, that kept happeneing no matter how many belts he used. as he went up to the sensei, mr. LOOCHOW, his pants began to loosen, because everyone knows one must karate chop in front of the sensei to earn his respect. his face turned red. as he turned around to give his pants one more cinch, he turned around to face his sensei, bowed deep, and executed a BEAUTIFUL karate chop. unfortunately, his pants slid to the ground. all the other ninjas in the dojo began to laugh, except one shy but beautiful ninja who always dressed in pink. her name was CHOWMEIN. as she looked away in embarrassment, KEEYAH hung his head in shame. there was no way to keep his family's name strong if he could not figure out a way to stop this from happening. Because of this, he set out on a journey. a far off journey, that i won't bore you with, because those journeys are often the most boring parts of these types of stories. lets just say he came back cuter, stronger, and with a cooler name. he changed his name to HIYAH!. now when HIYAH! got back to the dojo after a very long journey (see above reference), he noticed that CHOWMEIN had turned into a gorgeous ninja and had dropped the pink of her childhood and now wore the color of the most powerful female ninjas, purple. HIYAH! was lovestruck. he was embarrassed to face her because he knew she would not recognize him. although, he thought maybe he had a chance, except for that one nagging thought that his pants would still fall down. Later on that year, after noone had recognized him and he had completed his training under a different name,he was summoned to the sensei once more. and the sensei said, "HIYAH!, i know you are KEEYAH come back.why do you feel as though you won't be accepted?"and HIYAH! said"because i look like a fool with my pants on the ground"and LOOCHOW said, "HIYAH!, it is what is IN you that counts. even if you have ur pants on the ground"so HIYAH! attempted one last karate chop, a chop he knew would be futile. However, he summoned all the energy he had. and bam! KARATE CHOP! oh no!!!his pants fell to the ground. HIYAH! hung his head in shame as everyone began to titter. he looked up to see CHOWMEIN headed his way. she pulled up his pants, and tied them with her hair ribbon."i knew it was you all along, little KEEYAH. we will do this together."so they attempted a karate chop, this time bonded over the love they shared. their karate chop was so powerful it shook all of china! a piece broke off the edge and became japan. love was found, honor was restored, and KEEYAH was not a fool with his pants on the ground. the end.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Lunar Phase

Draw a heart on your homework,
You say you're in love
Get out of the box of chocolate,
You can't fake it this time.

Draw a heart on your shoulder
It's marked there forever
He leaves you. gone. no more.
What did you think was gonna happen?

Draw a heart on your heart
Noone knows it's there, but you.
Keep it a secret, keep it your choice.
And never, ever, let it go.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

buncha craptastic

do you want to know why today was crappy?
crappy day
yep, today was crap. complete
crap. it was not only crap, it was craptastic.

1. i didn't get a text from my mom. i love those. and i didn't get one. granted, i didn't text her either, but still.
2. i am feeling awful. i got some sore throat and a cough and i am a little worried that it is going to turn into some monster that comes out of my esophagus and swallows my throat. i mean, i'm sure i'm fine, but still.
3. dang it ricky bobby! you got a better grade than me! i know i didn't let it show that i cared, but i freakin tutored you, dude! how did you get a better grade on the amgov test than i did? by two freakin points, no less. i mean, i know i didn't study very hard for this test, and i know i had a headache, but still!
4. other shtuff. usual shtuff. shtuff that i don't care to talk about in a public area. stuff having to do with boys, ex boyfriends, people i shouldn't be talking to. it just hurts to much to think about.

on a brighter note, lets find out what god has been doing in my life, and then i will end with a poem. just a warning though, its really not interesting or artistic at all. its more of a song, and it sucks. when i'm not completely happy, i get minor writer's block.

what has god been doing in my life? let me tell you. he is refining me. i get these amazing epiphanies in the shower, and tonight's was that all the stuff that i view as trials really is stuff that God wants to mold me with. normally i'm all "i don't want to be molded, God! cmon!!"but now, i think i want to be molded. I mean, cmon. what could be better than being pushed bit by bit into the center of God's will? its probably better that we go willingly there, but i am one of those people that really needs a push. haha! but once i'm there, i like to stay there as long as i am able, basking in the thought that i am right where God wants me, and there i can be most used.

aight now for the poem of craptastic crap:

I'm like a kid, i'll play your games
i'm like a bird, i just want to fly away.
i wish i could do both, without failing.
But still i live on, playing and flying.

If i could pick up wings and take my shot
If everyone knew how hard i've fought
You think you know, you know you think
When all you've seen and heard
is me. working out the kinks.

Im like a child, i feel the simple stuff
I'm like an eagle: brave, hard, and rough
Take me simple, know i'm hard,
And accept my name, complete and whole.

If i could pick up wings and take my shot
If everyone knew how hard i've fought
You think you know, you know you think
When all you've seen and heard
is me. working out the kinks.

see? its a buncha crap, huh.

Monday, February 8, 2010

letter to a future.

hey babe.
i only write to you in my head. but i figured it might as well make a good blog entry. i mean, this blog is called "thoughts of love and happiness" you know? might as well keep up the love entries. :)

i have been praying for you for so long. you consume my thoughts because i know you are the one for me. You don't yet have a name, a face, a personality, but you already have my heart. I think that is the most important thing. The best thing about capturing my heart before you know me is that i know that this is real. God has placed you in my soul before we've even met, and i know that you are out there. God has such a plan for us, babe. We are meant to be. And i love the fact that we are called to a greater purpose. The world does not just revolve around you and me. There are others who need us. And we are called together to that. What greater purpose could life hold?

Some people may think it is weird that i have all this stuff to say and i haven't even met you. And if i have, technically i haven't because you aren't "the one" yet. But let me say that i love you. And i have loved before, but it was so selfish. So full of me. So wanting so much, without willing to give anything. And that is not true love. True love gives it all, and has it all by giving everything else away. And that is what i am willing to do for you.

Phil Wickham wrote a song called True Love, and it talks about our ultimate true love, Jesus Christ. I want us to love God together like that. And to grow closer through Him, not each other.

i love you. and i love who you are right now, who you've been, and who you are going to be.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010



my mom reminded me of something so important the other day.
i have such a passion for other people. i love people SO much. i always have to be talking to them, or hugging them, or listening to them, or watching them, or thinking about them.

when does it turn to love? if i have a "crush" on someone, say, and i think i like them, my mind is so passionate, it instantly turns into the most important thing in my life. is it love?

when do i myself love? do i have any idea what love is? love is so selfless, so caring, and so content.

i live my life.

i love my life.

i am truly happy. why don't you ask me why. :)