desserts.

wow. its been a week and a half in only four days.

i don't want to think, i don't want to be awake, i don't want to live. haha well i want to live, but i just have so much running through my mind and i could literally write a blog entry for three hours straight.

lets get down to business and compartmentalize my brain.

1. mi novio is pissing me off.

2. he's really pissing me off.

3. two weeks till i go home. im super excited.

4. softball team drama. not gonna mention it, but its really retarded.

5. i need to pass music.

6. i need to stop sucking at softball.

7. i really REALLY need to stop being a headcase.

8. me and God need to get closer, and i need to make him more of a focus.

9. i could use some sleep. maybe just a little bit.

hmm. which one should i discuss?

1. how could he not tell me? i'm his girlfriend i'm supposed to hear about stuff like this. i want to be there for him when he runs into some tight positions. i don't want to be the girl who comes home to find her boyfriend has completely changed because we haven't spoken in forever. i don't want to be the idiot girlfriend who thinks everything is okay, when in all actuality, he doesn't care enough to tell me important stuff in his life.

2. whoa.

3. i am excited to go home and see my best friend. :) she's been having a rough time of it lately, and i feel i should be there for her. i pray for her, but sometimes i feel like that's not enough and she could really just use a hug.

4. what the heck. i love my softball team, but sometimes we all just implode within each other. there is gossip going on, spite, jealousy, and other stuff that just really sucks. why cant we all just get along?

5. yea. haha i really need to pass music. its so difficult because the teacher goes so fast. i mean, we all know that i'm good at understanding theory, but when it goes so quickly its a lot to process at 9 am!! haha. but really. it stresses me out and i don't like when my parents put so much pressure on me for grades. i mean, i'm paying for college. not them. im working hard and it bothers me when they try to live my life for me.

6. no comment. i really need to get better.

7. i feel like such a beezie to people because i have all these thoughts in my head and i just don't feel like saying nice things. when i act all quiet, people think i'm stuck up or boring. in all actuality, i just don't know what to say because nothing else will fit in my head.

8. i love you God. i need to talk to you more and make more sense of the nonsense in my head. take out the trash, please. clear my mind and make me more like you. prepare my heart to surrender more and more every day.

9. zzz....